Things You’ll Know If You’re A Teacher

Things You’ll Know If You’re A Teacher

November 9, 2019 100 By Ronny Jaskolski


– Yeah… – Whatever miss, i really dont like the way you teach – Uh.. Ms. Murphy, i think there is a poo on the floor Oh my days. What did I do? Did I do that there? Did I do that aye? Mh, Mrs. Murphy there’s definitely a poo on the floor and there’s a footprint in it! okay Oh, the most awkward moments I’ve had to do a bit of sex ed, for the little ones And they’ll ask questions like, what’s public hair? I’ve got awkward moments with kids Boys Kids having crushes Oh God was it awkward We have silent reading And I have a kind of soft area for people who’ve done really well they can like lounge on the sofa And anyway, 15 minutes into the silent reading Oh God don’t say it yeah I just do a quick walk around and i just see this movement (gasp) oh my God Oh um, would you uh would you like to go to the bathroom Receiving strange gifts I’ve had a few Food that has been eaten A box of paracetamol Jewelry that has been stolen clearly A clay effigy of my head My friend, a teacher friend A child gave her weed once I bought this for you because, um, it helps my mum Seeing students or parents in public Most of the times if they see me it’s like an out-of-body experience I can’t believe that you exist outside of the school environment I was coming down some escalators into the tube And then a little boy and his dad were coming up And he just went (gasp) Staff room romances ohh ohhh I actually got married to a guy that I met at school- I’m joking I’m bloody single I’m at a primary school There are no male teachers If you get like a male, relatively attractive all the women are just like Oh, who’s the new teacher? When you get outside visitors and there are men in the building It’s like ‘restrain the students!’ Oh yeah, when the firemen came to school Oh my goodness You only work 6 hours a day and have loads of holidays Oh my God can I punch every person in the throat that says that? I woke up at 6, I get into school at 7 Saturday academies Stay in late, parents evening open evening giving up your weekends Best way to respond to this is Yeah I know, it’s so good Maybe I should react like that Cause’ usually my normal reaction is like ‘No.’ I think I used to be like that as times past i’ve just learned that no matter how much I defend myself people always think I’m a slacker Okay, end of term parties Raucous, and was the reason I gave up drinking I think.. oh teachers By the time we get to the end of term Christmas parties, summer parties…