The WPA Faculty Meets the New Bio Teacher – Schooled

The WPA Faculty Meets the New Bio Teacher – Schooled

October 10, 2019 0 By Ronny Jaskolski


Well, if it helps
ease the transition at all, please feel free
to call me Colonel Fun. Oh, by the way,
Friday is Pajama Day, and that’s an order
from the colonel. Yes!
[ Murmuring ] All you folks here
are all so, uh, cheerful and…nice.
CB: Thank you. We’re actually trying to change
the official school motto to “Hakuna Matata.”
[ Chuckles ] Yes, but we’re getting
a surprising amount of pushback from Disney legal. [ Exhales sharply ]
I’m just a little confused as to what you have
to be so happy about. Based on my classes so far, your kids are
a bunch of dum-dums. Ooh! New teacher
coming in hot! Solid hire! We try to steer clear of labeling our students
“dum-dums.” Yeah, we like to refer to them
as “future achievers.” That sounds like a nice way to
say “somebody else’s problem.” Well, thank you. I’m here to teach
hard science, not coddle them
with pajama parties. To be clear, the pajamas
are not for the students. No,
that’s a faculty thing. This is what I sleep in,
so I’m good to go. Wilma,
I reach my students by getting in their faces
and into their lives. Which is why I’m taking them all
out to Six Flags, like Michelle Pfeiffer. That makes
absolutely no sense. Mellor: This is
what I’ve been telling her. You drive a bunch of kids
to the amusement park, they start to treat you
like a chauffeur. And that’s halfway
to a butler. Rick, I really appreciate all
the help you gave me last year, when I was a newbie. It was adorable
how pathetic you were. She was like Bambi in that scene
where he’s slipping on the ice. [ Chuckles ] Bambi.
Clumsy idiot. Yeah,
but I’m not slipping now, and I don’t need a mentor
anymore. Well, as your mentor, I’d have
to advise against that decision. From now on,
I want to chart my own course — by being
exactly like Michelle Pfeiffer. You mean
like one of those teachers that’s always there
for their students when they have no one else
to turn to? Plus, her bone structure.
The woman is flawless.
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