TEACHING SWEAR WORDS TO JAPANESE PEOPLE
Do me a favour and just shut the fuck up for fuck, fuck’s ‘sake’? ‘Sake’, right? I think you’ve just designed an incredible product, ‘Fucks Sake.’ ‘Fuck’s sake.’ I tend to find Japanese people are very interested in swear words because despite hearing them in every song movie and TV show… Surprisingly, they’re never covered in the Japanese English education system. So with that in mind when I recently heard of a Japanese book called, “Tadashii fuck no tsukaikata” Which means, “The correct way to use fuck.” I quickly spent all of my pocket money buying as many copies as I could. Which was about.. 4 copies. And when the books arrived I was genuinely delighted to find that, as well as providing illustrations, to give context to the phrases, it even came with it’s own audio CD making a genuinely useful educational tool. And with that, off I went, to hand out copies and educate the people of Japan like some kind of unrelenting swear-word missionary. FUCK! Fuck no tadashii tsukaikata (the correct way to use fuck) You can use this, to learn. I’ll try to learn how to use ‘fuck.’ Fuck is important. Very important. I like fuck. This is one of my favourite expressions. You look bad. You look terrible. Go fuck yourself. Good! Good, good, good. Go fuck yourself, get the fuck out of here. Go fuck yourself. Go fuck yourself. Go fuck yourself. Go fuck yourself. Go fuck yourself. Go fuck yourself. Fuck face. Fuck face. I can’t believe you are such a fuck face. I can’t believe you are such a fuck face. Fuck face. Fuck face. Fuck face. So this is one of my favourite expressions… “The shit.” It means like, ‘the best.’ Your car is the shit. No. 27: The shit. The shit. Abso-fucking-lutely. Good. Abso-fucking-lutely.
Fan-fucking-tastic. Abso-fucking-lutely. Fan-fucking-tastic. Fan-fucking-tastic. In-fucking-credible. In-fucking-credible. In-fucking-credible. Interesting. Shit a brick. Shit a brick. Shit a brick You will shit a brick when you see this. You will shit a brick when you see this. What a fuck up. This is a famous, well was, a famous British singer called Amy Winehouse. This is a bit harsh because she died. It’s not very nice. I fucked up. Maybe if you’re drunk? Drunk? If you become drunk, if you do a bad thing. You can say to all the teachers the next day, “I fucked up.” You could have a big meeting! Everyone surprised, very surprised. You could say, “Everyone, yesterday I fucked up.” You fucking bastard. Exactly, yeah, good. Fucking amazing! Fucking amazing! Fucking amazing! My shoes are fucking amazing. I’m trusting you with the drugs, don’t fuck me over. Good. It’s a big thing, don’t fuck me over. Very popular in gangster movies. Don’t fuck me over. So if a student says, “I haven’t done my homework.” You can say, “Don’t fuck with me.” Don’t fuck with me. Don’t fuck with me, where’s the homework? Probably don’t say that… “Have you done the homework?” “No.” “Are you fucking with me?” I just destroyed your car, I’m really sorry. Are you fucking with me? But you can use it as a joke, “Are you fucking with me… ?” “Are you fucking with me!?” “No, that’s wrong.” Singing in the rain. Singing in the rain. Run DMC? Yeah. Walk this way, talk this way. From here, expression of ‘shit’, right? Expression of shit… Same shit different day. That’s British. same shit different day. “So how was your day?”
“Oh, same shit different day.” No. 19: Same shit different day. Same shit different day. This is fucking bullshit. Fucking bullshit! Good, good pronunciation. This is fucking bullshit. This is fucking bullshit. It’s kind of like, ‘uso!’ That’s a lie! You’re telling a lie! Fuckable. He? He’s fuckable. Standard expression ‘possible.’ It’s possible. Fuckable? Possible. “What?”
“That’s dangerous.” Dangerous?
Possible is dangerous? Well, they’re quite different. For example, if I go, “Is it possible to go to Tokyo? Is it possible?” You go, “Yes! It’s fuckable.” It would be a really weird… thing. You fucked up. If I crash the car, I could say to someone, “Oh my god, I fucked up.” In America I ordered coffee, but the waiter brought coke. I ordered coffee, but you brought coke. What the fuck? ‘Coke’, ‘coke.’ ‘Coke?’
‘Coke.’ But usually it’s a big thing, a bigger thing. Like fucked up, I crashed the car, I lost all my money. I killed the cat. I ate the… fridge. Will you please fuck off! Fuck off. Do me a favour and just shut the fuck up, for fuck’s ‘sake’. Isn’t that ‘sake’ ? Sake, not ‘sake.’ For fuck’s ‘sake’ ? The King’s Speech. Famous movie, about the King, a British King. He has a stutter. So he can’t… he was in ‘deep shit.’ He had to make a speech.
He was in deep shit. I’ve seen this movie. Ah, so you know how much shit he was in? This book, if you learn how to say ‘fuck’ and understand ‘fuck’ then you can watch many movies, many English movies listen to many English songs and understand them. I think most English speaking countries use these expressions. That said, you don’t need to know this stuff. Well, it’s best to know it, just not use it. You could learn it, but using it might not be a good idea. To know. Only to know. To know. These expressions are good for Japanese to know? Yeah, absolutely. Looks like you, Natsuki. Go fuck yourself. You’ve learnt how to use that phrase quite quickly.