Key & Peele – East/West College Bowl

Key & Peele – East/West College Bowl

September 13, 2019 85 By Ronny Jaskolski


– HI, EVERYBODY,
I’M DAVE STASSEN
ALONGSIDE GEOFF WORTHING,
AND WELCOME
TO THE ANNUAL EAST/WEST BOWL,
AS WE GET READY TO WATCH
SOME OF THE BEST COLLEGE PLAYERS
IN THE NATION
SHOWCASE THEIR SKILLS
IN A CLASSIC SHOWDOWN
BETWEEN EAST AND WEST.
AND THERE REALLY
ARE SOME CHARACTERS
ON THIS YEAR’S SQUADS,
AREN’T THERE, GEOFF?
– THAT’S RIGHT, DAVE.
IT DOES SEEM LIKE THE MOST
FLAMBOYANT PERSONALITIES
CAME TO THE FOREFRONT,
AND THEY ARE HERE.
LET’S MEET THE PLAYERS
FROM THE EAST. [rock music] ♪
– D’MARCUS WILLIUMS,
UNIVERSITY OF GEORGIA.
– T.J. JUCKSON,
WAYNE STATE UNIVERSITY.
– T’VARIUSNESS KING,
MERRIMACK COLLEGE.
– TYROIL SMOOCHIE-WALLACE,
UNIVERSITY OF MIAMI.
– D’SQUARIUS GREEN, JR.,
UNIVERSITY OF NOTRE DAME.
– IBRAHIM MOIZOOS,
UNIVERSITY OF TENNESSEE
AT CHATTANOOGA.
– JACKMERIUS TACKTHERITRIX,
MICHIGAN STATE UNIVERSITY.
– D’ISIAH T. BILLINGS-CLYDE,
COASTAL CAROLINA UNIVERSITY.
– [lisping]
D’JATHPER PROBINCRUX THE THIRD,
THOUTH CAROLINA THTATE
UNIVERTHITY.
– LEOZ MAXWELL JILLIUMZ,
EAST CAROLINA UNIVERSITY.
– JAVARIS JAMAR
JAVARISON-LAMAR,
UNIVERSITY
OF MIDDLE TENNESSEE.
– DAVOIN SHOWER-HANDEL,
UNIVERSITY
OF SOUTHERN MISSISSIPPI.
– HINGLE MCCRINGLEBERRY,
PENN STATE UNIVERSITY.
– L’CARPETRON DOOKMARRIOT,
FLORIDA ATLANTIC UNIVERSITY.
– J’DINKALAGE MORGOONE,
UNIVERSITY OF SOUTH FLORIDA.
– XMUS JAXON FLAXON-WAXON,
CALIFORNIA UNIVERSITY
OF PENNSYLVANIA.
– WE’RE GOING TO BE LOOKING
FOR BIG PLAYS
ALL GAME LONG
FROM TYROIL SMOOCHIE-WALLACE.
– AND LET’S NOT FORGET
THE TIGHT ENDS,
IBRAHIM MOIZOOS
AND HINGLE MCCRINGLEBERRY.
THEY’VE BOTH HAD
AMAZING SEASONS.
– THAT’S RIGHT, GEOFF.
NOW LET’S MEET THE PLAYERS
FROM THE WEST. [rock music] ♪
– SAGGITARIUTT JEFFERSPIN,
TEXAS A & M.
– D’GLESTER HARDUNKICHUD,
UNIVERSITY OF WISCONSIN.
– SWIRVITHAN L’GOODLING-SPLATT,
SASKATCHEWAN UNIVERSITY.
– QUATRO QUATRO,
SAN JOSE STATE UNIVERSITY.
– OZAMATAZ BUCKSHANK,
STANFORD UNIVERSITY.
– BEEZER TWELVE WASHINGBEARD,
JONES COLLEGE.
– SHAKIRAQUAN T.G.I.F. CARTER,
UNIVERSITY
OF NORTHERN ARIZONA.
– X-WING @ ALICIOUSNESS,
MISSOURI WESTERN
STATE UNIVERSITY.
– SEQUESTER GRUNDELPLITH, M.D.,
ADAMS STATE.
– SCOISH VELOCIRAPTOR MALOISH,
SOUTH DAKOTA
STATE UNIVERSITY.
– T.J. A.J. R.J.
BACKSLASHINFOURTH THE FIFTH,
ALBION COLLEGE.
– [squeals]
SAN DIEGO STATE UNIVERSITY.
– DONKEY TEETH,
BOISE STATE UNIVERSITY.
– TORQUE…
[jackhammer drilling]
LEWITH,
NEVADA STATE…
PENITENTIARY.
– THE PLAYER FORMERLY KNOWN
AS MOUSECOP,
UNIVERSITY OF MISSOURI,
COLUMBIA.
– DAN SMITH, BYU.