If People Were Honest In College Application Essays

October 5, 2019 0 By Ronny Jaskolski

– I possess many important qualities, such as the ability to
complete this application three hours before the deadline. (laughs) (light music) – It is completely obvious
that I am totally burnt out. – My mom is standing over
my shoulder right now, so this has no trace
of my real personality. – I’m using words I literally learned a minute ago on Thesaurus.com. – I got this opinion off CNN.com. – I’m trying to hide the fact that I’m a privileged white person. – I consider Abraham Lincoln to be my hero because you’ve heard of him, and this is not a controversial opinion. – I will write anything you want to hear, just so I can get out
of this terrible town. – Here’s where I pretend like your school is my first and only choice. – You’re my safety school, but I’m not going to say that. – I’m only applying to
college because my parents will kill me if I don’t. – I’m making myself sound
like a serious student, but I’m probably just going to drink malt liquor for four years. – I’m mentioning how excited I am about your small class
size and personalized attention because you mentioned it five times on your website. – Now I will tell you about the one time I visited another country to put a cultured spin on myself. – I did a lot of community service, and by community service, I mean I donated blood once. For cookies! – I live in a rich Jewish neighborhood. Does that count as diversity? – I’m only name-dropping my grandfather because he’s an alumni. – If this wasn’t a college essay, this would be considered way oversharing. – [Voiceover] I know
what it means to suffer. I went through a horrible
breakup sophomore year. He’s now dating my best friend, so I understand the world.