A Formal Hanukkah Education – Ten Minute Power Hour

A Formal Hanukkah Education – Ten Minute Power Hour

September 14, 2019 100 By Ronny Jaskolski


(intro music) – Welcome to the Ten Minute Power Hour! Starring Arin Hanson, and also Dan Avidan. Arin… What are you doing with my percussor? – I’m using it, what does it look like? It’s the last day of Ha – er, Chanukah! – Oh my god!
– Chanukah. – Is it really?
– Yeah. – That’s cr – (percussor vibrates against table)
(Arin laughs) – That’s crazy. – Alright, you know what? This isn’t what I bought it for. *CRASH* (percussor rattles can)
– Alright, c’mon… (can rattling) – [Dan] I’m sure that thing is very relaxed. *THUD* (Dan laughs) – Welcome to the last day of Hanukkah! Ten Minute Power Hour. – But before we get into that –
– Chanukah! – Look at us as cute girls.
– Woah. – These might not be available but maybe they are. GameGrumps.com. Go check out the store.
– Yeah, it’s Arin and I as cute anime girls. I’d fuck us.
(burp offscreen) – [Dan] Tucker, please. – Stop!
– Hit me with those Hanukkah sweaters! Jewish Hanukkah sweater powers, activate! – Form of… – Jew. – Shape of… – Jew.
– Not a Jew, but still appreciate the culture. – [Dan] Thanks, man. – Well, Dan, I’ll tell you what we’re doing.
– Uh-huh. – You’re telling us what we’re doing. Because I don’t know anything about Channukah but you do, as a Jew. – (stuttering) Mmm… – So, on this episode, we’re gonna be celebrating Channukah in the only ways that we know, with… – A menorah set!
– With menorah! She didn’t want to throw it out of respect. – Okay, cool. Set includes – oh, wow, cool! – So we’re gonna be doing Channukah activities and you’re gonna be telling me about the story of – of Chann. – Of Chann – alright. So from what I know… which, uh, (sharp inhale) it’s been a long time since Hebrew school. – What is this delicate opening? You just… – Showin’ a little respect!
– Oh, that’s right, we’re – it’s respect, right, right. – It’s respect.
– Respect the candles. – I’m trying to waifu my own religion.
(Arin laughs) – A long time ago, there were these Jewish warriors named the Maccabees. And, uh…
– Maccabees? – Yeah.
– Isn’t that like, a band from the seventies? – Nope. You’re thinking of… Led Zeppelin. The Maccabees were fighting… Uh, some shit happened. Uh…
(Arin laughs) – And they –
– I think it’s up to you to tell me what that shit is. – I don’t remember, but they needed – they only had a bunch of lamp light left to stay warm and keep things lit. Not party lit, but lit. Um, for, uh…
– They were gettin’ down back then. – They only had enough for one night – enough lamp oil. But because God was on the Jews’ side, they burned for eight crazy nights! – And, and that –
– And they partied? – And they partied hard. I don’t remember exactly what happened after that, but like, at least… I think they won the battle, right? Did they win the battle? – Well, you’re still here, aren’t you?
– Yeah. So, that’s a good sign. And then, you light all these candles. That’s a dreidel, Arin. – What are they?
– Okay, so it’s like a top. And uh –
– Do you match them to the candles? – No, that has nothing to do with anything. Here, it’s like this. Whoop, okay, sorry. Like this. Shit. – Watch this. It almost worked!
– Trying to do this? – Yeah.
– Aw. Yeah, it can work. – Watch this.
– Okay. Watch this. Jews! – Wow, you did it! Aw, it fell. – And that’s basically what happened. And um, that’s the best synopsis anyone has ever given. Because Christopher Nolan is one of the most famous Jewish directors, he had a thing at the end where a guy – at the end of Inception where a guy spun a dreidel, and if – if it stays up, then we’re all living in reality. – [Arin] And if it goes down then Gimel! – Okay – oh, that is Gimel. Very good, Ar – no, that’s… That’s uh, the one that looks like a “W”.
– Shway? – There’s no such letter.
– Look, there’s Gimel, there’s shway.
– It’s Shin. – There’s… baklava.
– That’s a dessert. – And there’s delicious green beans.
– Mmkay, well. (singing Edward Scissorhands theme) – That’s a classic Jewish song, right?
– Yeah, it’s from… Edward Matzohands.
(Arin laughs) (Dan sings)
(Arin laughs) – Edward Latkehands. – Ed – “You’ve got some nice hands there, Edward.” – Boy, that’s gettin’ tall.
– It sure is. – That’s gettin’ real – it’s gettin’ smoky.
– Okay, okay, uh – – Do we – uh –
– Okay, uh – – Do we have a fire blanket? Help.
– Could you – yeah, could you blow this out please? – Could you get water? Water?
– Hannah?! (Arin screams) (offscreen laughs) – I got it.
– Did you see how long it stayed lit? (Arin laughs)
– It’s a miracle! (Arin continues laughing) – So now we’re gonna play dreidel game.
– Oh, it’s not plastic, it’s made out of metal. – We don’t skimp, bro. – [Arin] Four coins.
– Alright. And, um… – [Arin] What does that mean?
– Let’s put two in the pot. And… – Mine too?
– Yes. Just two. Just two. Okay. – [Arin] What if I just choose not to ante up? – Then we’re not playing the fucking game, are we? There’s only two of us here!
– Well… – Sorry.
– Sorry for cursing. – Maybe I just wanna tap out right now. Fold. (Dan laughs) – This is Nun. (Arin makes glorious noise) – That one means nothing happens. Gimel, you take all the coins in the pot. Hey – heyyy~ – you take half. Half the coins. And then Shin, you put two coins in. – What?
– Yeah, yeah. – You ready?
– Wait. – Wait wait wait wait wait…
– It’ll make sense in five seconds. Only four things can happen. – Yeah, but three of them are bad. Go ahead and spin.
– Alright. Nun! Nothing – nothing happens.
– Gimme that. I’m a dreidel master. I made it out of clay.
– Oh, yeah. – Gimel! You take the pot! Yay!
– Yay! I’m the master! – (singing) Oh dreidel, dreidel, dreidel, I made it out of clay (together) And when it’s dry and ready, oh dreidel I will play, yay! – Nun! Nothing – fuck! – But we didn’t – there’s no pot! We didn’t ante up again. – Nothing happens. Oh yeah, we gotta ante up. – [Arin] Oh, one?
– Yeah. Oh, well, let’s do two. Stakes is high, bitch. – You’re all in, baby.
– Alright, alright. (Arin pants) – [Arin] Stop, stop, stop! That’s interference! That’s interference, lose – he loses. (Dan laughs)
– It’s all mine now. – ‘Cause you interfered. Woo, I won dreidel! This game is really fair.
(Dan laughs) – I hate this.
(Dan laughs) – You really… you’re just gettin’ the carpet wet? Hanukkah Bingo!
(Dan laughs) – So fire is bad and water is bad. Got it, guys. Whatever.
(Arin laughs) – What is good – what is this? – Stop, ow.
– I don’t know how to play Hanukkah Bingo. What the hell is this? – It’s just bingo, dude!
– Alright. How to play Hanukkah Bingo. Before you –
– The hell is – we’ve got cards. – We did that.
(offscreen yell) – Oh my god. Hi, Vernon!
– Why did you try to turn the light on? – (offscreen) Goddamnit, Vernon!
– [Arin] What is wrong with you? (offscreen talking) – Gimel. We’ve already established that. – No, what was it?
– That was – that’s – – (Ross offscreen) Too fast, c’mon, give me the picture! – Gimel.
(Arin laughs)
– (Ross offscreen) Thank you. – It’s part of the dreidel. Latkes. It’s a potato pancake. Yum. Menorah. That – that’s that. – It’s the eight crazy lights for eight crazy nights. Gelt. Those, uh, things. – The penny – the pennies.
– Jelly donut. – That’s a donut.
– What? You get jelly donuts on Hanukkah? – I don’t remember that being a traditional Jewish thing, but that’s fine.
– That’s awesome! Hanukkah rules!
– It’s fine. Shin. That’s the bad one that looks like a “W”. – [Arin] Why is – why is it so – it’s like, the candles? – What?
– You could just edit that out. (both laugh)
– I had a thought – – No, keep it in.
– I had a thought and then it went somewhere else. – (laughs) Alright, cool. The Star of David. It’s the symbol of David. He was one of the Maccabean warriors, I think. Hey~ (Arin laughs) – Present.
(Arin laughs) (Arin continues laughing) – Arin, the past is gone and the future doesn’t exist. Today is a gift. That’s why it’s called the present. – Wow. That’s beautiful. (vomit noise) – Nun.
(Arin laughs) – We’ve established what that is. – Why’d you say it with such anger? – I didn’t – that wasn’t anger.
– NUN. – No, it’s how you pronounce it. – Temple. That’s the house of worship that we Jews go to.
– Wow. – Lighting the menorah. That’s the fire hazard that we just caused.
(Arin giggles) – Candle. That’s what goes on the menorah that caused the fire hazard that we just caused. Jug of oil. That’s –
– (Ross offscreen) Bingo! – [Ross] I got all three.
– [Dan] Ross, I’m not calling ’em out. We’re not – I’m just telling – – Of course you got bingo, I just announced every card! – I know, but it’s just, we were playing bingo and I just thought… – Olives.
– I won before you did. – [Ross] Oh, okay. It’s just thought we were actually –
– I got the… – Olives are olives.
– (Vernon offscreen) Oh, I got latke. – Hanukkah cookie. That’s a cookie. Traditionally at Han –
– Is that for real? Hanukkah cookies? This isn’t real! Is this real? – And Jerusalem. It’s a town in Israel, where no one ever fights.
– Hold on. Hold on.
– What? – Is this – is this a thing? – Hanukkah cookies?
– Yeah. – Yeah, people make cookies.
– Really? – Yeah, in the shapes of dreidels and such.
– That’s adorable. – Yeah, it’s the best – Hanukkah rules!
– Why can’t I have a Hanukkah? – I don’t know, let’s play bingo!
– Dan, can we have a Hanukkah together? – We’re doing it nowwww!
(both yell) – Get your bingo chips.
– I got ’em. Oh, this is what these are? – Yeah.
– I thought it was a pot that we won. – Would you fucking pay attention?
– Well, what do you win if you win a bingo? – Hanukkah’s gonna be over in a minute. Temple.
– I have temple. – (offscreen) I can’t – why is your thing so curved? – Well because it’s wet, dude –
– Because there’s water. – It’s like absorbing – absorbed the water – Look at this, it’s like –
(arguing) – Lighting the menorah.
– Fuck! – No one has that. – (Vernon offscreen) Wait, is the center the free space? – No, it’s not the free space.
– Vernon, you’re not even playing. – [Arin] Did he call “present”? No. – Oh, mine was gold. Gelt. – (offscreen) I had lighting the menorah. – Ross, you’re not playing either! It’s me against Arin!
– Oh, okay, I’m sorry. – (laughs) Candle. – I have candle.
– I have candle, too – – Shit.
– because I’m epic, and I have one away. So you better – you better bless me with eternal light. – Sorry. It’s jug of oil, you piece of fuck. Alright – don’t move my gelt. – Um, oh shit, it’s –
– Yes! I won! Bingo! Bingo, motherfucker! Look at that top! I rigged it! I wanna play dreidel again, Dan. – Okay, do we have any other Hanukkah things? Oh, we’ve got Dreidel Pop n’ Spin! – Oh my god, this looks awesome.
– That was so gentle. – (Hannah offscreen) I feel really weird throwing – – [Arin] Well, this is Dreidel Pop n’ Spin, it’s whatever. – Yeah, I assure you, Hannah, my ancestors will not be offended –
(Arin laughs) – if you’re a little rough with the Rite Lite Dreidel Pop n’ Spin twisty game. – Shit, Hannah! Jesus.
– What the fuck, Hannah? – It’s Jew Boggle.
– (laughs) It’s not Boggle, it’s Trouble. – The game is Trouble!
– Trouble, that’s what I meant. It’s Jew Trouble which is what I am. Oh, we’ve got pieces! Dibs on blue. – Oh, oh, dibs on…
– Dibs on blue. – I don’t care. Dibs on red, whatever.
– You don’t have to call dibs. You’re the only other player playing, so… This game’s like, four hours long. – (Hannah offscreen) Speed run.
– Speed run, alright. – What is it – what do they mean? What do they mean? What does Nun mean?
– It’s the same shit we just – It’s been the same thing the entire time.
– What do you mean “the same thing”? Okay. Hey. How far do I go, Dan? – Move ahead three spaces.
(Ross offscreen laughter) – [Arin] I spun a Hey.
– [Dan] Yes. Okay. Gimel. I move – (laughs) One, two, three, four… Five, six.
– You can’t… – And I spin again.
– That’s not… – Gimel again! One, two, three, four… five, six! Judaism victory! – I don’t think that’s…
– Ultimate. I did it. – I don’t think that’s…
– Arin… Arin? – I don’t think that’s how you play.
– It’s over. It’s over. This was nice. I feel like we learned a lot. – I learned a lot. I’m gonna repeat everything that I learned, to you, right now.
– Okay. – There was a candle, and there was only oil, and so they burned them. – [Dan] Who burned them?
– The Mmm… – The pretzel people.
– The Maccabees? – That’s right. The Maccabees Pretzel Company.
(Arin laughs) – [Dan] Can you edit out all the offensive shit? T-shirts. – I’m choking.
(Dan sings) (Arin sings) – (singing) Doo doo.
(both laugh) (outro music)